The Essence of Perfection Page 6

  Once she figured out the perfect formula, that is.

  Cassandra nodded and pouted as if conceding to tremendous pressure. “You’re right, I guess. I mean, I am so inspired by the way you turned your mother’s company around from the brink of bankruptcy with the creation of Triumph. Now Queen Couture is one of the companies everyone is going to.”

  Nicola’s gaze shifted to the camera and back. “It wasn’t just me. My mom and sister both worked hard to get us where we are.” Quinn more than most people realized.

  “Yes, but it was your creation that became the number one selling perfume multiple years in a row. From that, you’ve had hit after hit. You’re invited to celebrity parties, I hear you’re on a first name basis with the Prince of Marobi, and now you’re working with Desiree. Some would say you’re the embodiment of living the dream.”

  Nicola would’ve laughed at that if she didn’t hate discussing how she’d supposedly saved her mom’s company from the brink. At least Cassandra appreciated what she’d been telling everyone since the party. Cassandra wasn’t telling her she wasn’t living it up enough. She didn’t need more excitement in her life. She had enough as it was. “I have been very fortunate. I couldn’t be happier.”

  Cassandra pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. “Couldn’t you?”

  A prickle of unease crawled up Nicola’s spine like a phantom spider. Sweat trickled down her back. Had the heat from the cameras intensified? She glanced at Tom. He raised his brows in a go-with-it fashion. “I mean. I guess we all could find ways to be happier.”

  Cassandra’s eyes brightened as if Nicola had just given her the lead she’d wanted. “For instance, getting a chance to do the things a person never got around to.”

  The phantom spider now had friends that crawled over Nicola’s arms and chest. “You could say that,” Nicola said slowly.

  “And that’s what you’re doing now, too. Going back and scratching items off your list of regrets.”

  Nicola froze in the middle of putting her coffee mug back on the table. Her gaze shot up to Cassandra’s. “Say what now?”

  If Cassandra noticed the panic coursing through Nicola she didn’t let on. If anything, her eyes sharpened. Reminding Nicola of a ferret about to snatch a morsel of food. “When you sent over your list of regrets, it made us realize how courageous you must be to go back and scratch those things off. I mean, you’ve got a lot of things on that list.”

  Nicola dropped the mug on the table with a thud. “My list.” Forget phantom spiders, Nicola’s entire body stilled. No. God no. Please Lord No!!

  She struggled to keep her breathing normal when sweat broke out across her forehead and upper lip. Nicola eased back into an upright position. This could not be happening to her. How did they know? This had to be a mistake. They couldn’t possibly have seen her list. Her eyes darted to the exit. How bad would it be if she took off running right now?

  “Yes, we have a copy right here.” Cassandra, ever so helpful, miraculously pulled a sheet of paper from between her and Tom. Her green eyes eagerly scanned the paper. “Ask a guy out. I think most of us have done that. Take the trip to Cancun you missed on spring break. Pet the Prince of Marobi’s tiger if asked again. Go skinny dipping with the former secretary of state.”

  Her hand gripped the arm of her chair. “You have my list,” Nicola’s voice sounded thin and scratchy. And now the audience was cheering and murmuring excitedly. Sweet mother of everything holy, how did they have the list?

  “Of course,” Tom said, seeming to have noticed her distress. “When you forwarded it to us, we understood you’d sent it over to show no matter how successful you may be there may be things that you regret not doing.”

  He was throwing her a life preserver. She could either take it, pretend as if this was intentional, and pray to every deity out there that this blew over. Or, she could demand to know how they got it and break down in a fit of embarrassment that would make internet memes for years to come. As much as the second option was what she wanted to do, her professional common sense said she had to go with the former.

  “Yes . . . of course. That’s exactly why I . . . I sent it.” She wanted to die. Right here. In front of all these people. God could send down a lightning bolt and strike her to dust.

  Cassandra leaned forward. “But what are you going to do with the items on this list? Are you going to start living with no regrets?”

  The audience clapped. A few people called out “Do the list!” Nicola looked at the people there. All cheering her on. A sea of smiling, eager faces. Eating up her embarrassment as if it was free samples in the grocery store.

  “Sure, in fact, it’s one of the reasons I sent it over. To talk about how even though my life appears glamorous, I still miss out on the little things. I’m trying to make time for those things. In fact, I struck one thing off the other day.” Thanks to the shopping trip with Desiree. “I’m making this a priority, you know.”

  “Well then, you will come back and let us know how things went, won’t you?” Tom asked.

  There was no way in—“Of course!”

  * * *

  How in the world had they gotten ahold of her list? The question ran through Nicola’s mind like a freight train on greased tracks. Her phone was blowing up. Texts, emails, calls, and social media notifications. She ignored them all as she jumped out of her car and sprinted inside her office.

  Nicola rushed through the doors and skidded to a stop in front of her administrative assistant’s desk. Slapping her palms down on the surface she stared into LeShawn’s wide, dark eyes.

  “What did you send them?”

  LeShawn jumped from her chair and held up her hands as if Nicola had her at gunpoint. “I swear only what you had opened on your laptop.”

  “I did not have—”

  LeShawn nodded. “Yes, you did.”

  Nicola’s hands balled into fists on the desk. She felt lightheaded and sick. “Why did you send it?”

  “You said to send what was open on your computer.”

  “Did you read it?” As if that mattered. Everyone had heard her list this morning on the show.

  “I did.”

  “And what made you think that was supposed to go?”

  LeShawn shrugged and eased back until she stood behind her chair. “I don’t know. I just followed directions. Then Desiree was talking about you striking things off your list and doing things you always wanted to do. I thought it was part of the angle you wanted to portray on the show.”

  Nicola covered her face with her hands. Her chest constricted. She couldn’t breathe. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Your story was actually really inspirational. You make me want to go back and try out some things.”

  Nicola glared at LeShawn between her fingers. “I wanted this to be about the business and everything I’ve worked hard to achieve. Not everything I gave up just to get here.”

  “But you really didn’t give up,” LeShawn argued. “You’re going after those things you let pass you by. Which I think is great. You don’t get out there enough. This will be good for you.” Her eyes brightened and her voice grew more confident with each word.

  Nicola slowly dropped her hands. Great, so now her admin was telling her she needed to get out more. What the hell was happening with the world? This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Sure, she’d given up doing some fun things for her career, but she didn’t regret the choices she made. Not really. Her list was more to celebrate all the awesome opportunities she’d had on her way to the top. Not doing them wasn’t a sign that her life was lacking in some way. She was very happy.

  The door to the office burst open and Quinn came in like a bolt of lightning in her all-white halter top and capri pants. She stopped and stared at Nicola. One brow raised and confusion in her dark eyes.

  “You regret not going to Cancun in college? So much so you wrote it on your list?”

  Nicola rolle
d her eyes. And now it would begin. “It’s not like that. The list wasn’t supposed to go to them.”

  LeShawn bit her lip and eased back down into her chair. Nicola turned away from her sister and escaped into the sanctuary of her office. But like any meddling relative, Quinn ignored sanctuaries.

  “That doesn’t matter, it got to them,” Quinn said, following her. She closed the door to Nicola’s office before continuing. “I knew you had a list, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. The way you talked about it on the show made it sound like you really hate that you missed out on so much. I didn’t know work was such a sacrifice for you.”

  “It’s not. That’s the way Cassandra made it sound. I think she was trying to make things sound a lot more dramatic than they actually are. I’m completely happy with my life and with everything I’ve had to do to get here. That list is just something fun to keep up with. Not something I do because I’m keeping a tally of major disappointments or anything like that.”

  Quinn’s head tilted and her lips pursed. She studied Nicola for several seconds. “Are you sure? You said you were going to do the things on the list.”

  “I’m not doing anything on that list. LeShawn accidentally sent it. They thought it would make a good story to show the woman who has the perfect career.” She made air quotes with those words. “Also goes after a perfect personal life. Instead of further embarrassing myself on camera, I agreed with what they said.”

  “People are going to want to know if you went through with it.”

  That was not a possibility she’d considered. The idea made her stomach flip even more. “No, they aren’t. I was one unknown person on the show between a television actress and a best-selling novelist. No one is going to care about whether or not I do the things on that dumb list.”

  “Maybe you’re right, but the audience seemed to really be into you. I know people. They love to see an underdog come out on top.”

  Nicola went to her work area and picked up the vial with the scent she’d mixed together to evoke feelings of calm. She screwed off the top and breathed in the mixture of vetiver, lavender, and ylang-ylang. The trembling in her hand did not go away. “Look, I appreciate you trying to help, but you know people on social media. Half of the time the big ruckus people are absorbed in isn’t even a blip on the radar in the real world. No one is going to care.”

  Quinn’s cringe screamed You’re being delusional. She even flipped her hair in a whatever motion. “For your sake, Miss I’m Going To Keep My Head In The Sand, I hope no one does care, but trust me. People in your so-called real world are the same people devouring stories on social media and television. If there’s a few things people love, it’s a scandal, a story of redemption, or someone overcoming adversity and you, my dear, are setting yourself up as the comeback kid of the year.”

  Chapter 7

  “Nicola, hey it’s Stacie Brown with Your Morning Wake-Up Call. I’m following up to see when we can schedule a follow up on your interview.”

  Nicola nearly dropped the phone into the bowl of cereal she’d been eating at her kitchen table. A week had passed since that dreaded television interview. A week since she’d tried to convince everyone from her mom to her pharmacist that she was very happy with her life, and her list had just been something fun to keep up with. She’d expected the interest to have died down by now. Quinn, damn know-it-all that she was, had continued to send her articles and blog posts that mentioned Nicola’s interview.

  Apparently, the video of her biggest embarrassment had over a hundred thousand likes on YouTube. People obviously had way too much time on their hands. When Quinn hadn’t emailed anything yesterday or this morning, Nicola had hoped everything was finally disappearing in pop culture memory.

  She just had to pick up the phone.

  Nicola wiped away the milk dribbling down her chin. “Follow up? I didn’t know there was going to be a follow up.”

  “Oh, we have to do a follow up. The response to your interview has been overwhelming. People are still commenting on your interview on social media and contacting us to find out if you’re going to come back with an update on what items you scratched off your list. In fact, we’ve considered having a camera come with you to record your new adventures. It’ll be a good way to show the viewers what it’s like to take the step out of your comfort zone.”

  “Recording my adventures! Wait a second. I was just going along with Cassandra and Tom up there. I really don’t have any plans to cross items off my list. I only started it as something fun to keep track of.”

  “Then why did you send it to us?” Stacie asked, in a tone that implied Nicola was playing a game with her.

  “That shouldn’t have come. My administrative assistant mistakenly forwarded that to you. My intention was to only send you the answers to your questions.”

  “Or,” Stacie said drawing out the word. “Your subconscious put out a cry for help.”

  How in the world would her subconscious have any influence on what LeShawn did? “It wasn’t a cry for help.”

  “Okay, I get it, you may not have wanted the list to be a part of your interview, but your story resonated with our viewers,” Stacie said, sounding every bit like a program director who made quick decisions daily. “The idea of someone actually going back and getting a second chance at the things they missed out on has a lot of people talking about what they would do differently if they could. Most people won’t get the chance to do that. You can be the surrogate for America.”

  “That doesn’t sound pleasant.” Nicola pushed the bowl of soggy cereal away. She leaned her elbow on the counter and massaged her temple. This had gotten way out of control.

  “Hear me out. You are at the top of your life, but you were able to be vulnerable on our show and admit that there are things you wish you could do over again. Then you told the audience you were going to do those things over. Combine that with your work with Desiree and everyone is going to be excited, about not only the fragrance, but the kickass woman behind the scenes. Let us follow you on this journey. Let our viewers see you take life by the horns and fix your past mistakes and regrets. Be the person the rest of us want to be.”

  Nicola stopped massaging her temples. Well, when Stacie said it that way, the idea didn’t sound completely ridiculous. Could this be a good thing? A way for her to finally have the fun Quinn and Shonda said she needed to have while also creating good publicity for Queen Couture? Maybe she could turn this embarrassment into something worthwhile.

  “Okay, I’ll come back on the show.” She agreed hesitantly. Still not sure if this was a good idea or if Stacie was gassing her.

  “And what about the cameras?” Stacie asked hopefully.

  The idea of cameras in her face constantly made her want to change her mind. But, if she chose some fun things on the list for them to film, nothing too personal, it could be good optics for the story. “Not for everything, but maybe a couple of items. If you really think your viewers will be interested.”

  “Oh, they will be,” Stacie’s voice buzzed with confidence. Silly her. Cameras following Nicola wouldn’t lead to an interesting story. Obviously, they hadn’t gotten the Nicola-is-the-boring-one memo. “Don’t worry, Nicola, this is going to be one of the best received stories we’ve ever done.”

  That or Nicola’s biggest regret.

  Chapter 8

  Nicola got up early Saturday and drove the hour and a half from Atlanta to Aiken, South Carolina. Since she’d decided to go through with striking items off her list she might as well start with the one item that was most important. Spending more time with family. More specifically her grandfather.

  When her grandmother died two years ago, she’d been heartbroken. Then she’d been twisted with guilt. She was supposed to go into biomedical research. She was supposed to have helped find a cure or some solution to ease her grandmother’s discomfort. Not spend her life going to parties and making perfumes. Even though her Grandma Cynthia had never once blamed her
for working at Queen Couture instead of pursuing a career in biomedical research.

  Her grandmother had always been a part of her life. Someone who supported and cheered for Nicola just as much as Quinn. When her parents chose to go to Quinn’s pageant, which was the same night Nicola was getting an academic award, it was Grandma Cindy who’d called Nicola and asked how the banquet had gone and told her that she was proud of her. Whenever Quinn made everyone laugh and smile with her jokes and sparkling personality, it was Grandma Cindy who sat next to Nicola reading quietly in the corner and asked about the book. When people gushed over the job Quinn had gotten as a model in a local magazine, Grandma Cindy had followed up the excitement by bringing up that Nicola had once again gotten straight A’s and was named valedictorian.

  She’d loved her Grandma Cindy more than anyone in the world. Had cried for weeks after seeing the way her stroke had changed her so completely. She’d never imagined a life without her grandmother there. Even as she’d watched her grow weaker, slower, frailer every year. Until Nicola had stopped visiting as much because being there hurt too much.

  Her death had hit hard. A heart attack in her sleep. Even though she’d been disabled by the stroke, no one had expected her to go so suddenly. Then all of Nicola’s plans to visit and call more once work slowed down seemed like weak excuses.

  Now, as she drove down the tree-lined street and pulled her car into the long drive of her grandparents’ brick ranch home, she fought back a case of nerves. She hadn’t been back here to visit her grandfather in over a year. Hadn’t called like she’d promised her mom she would two weeks ago. She would do better. Had to do better. That’s why she’d come today.

  She strolled up the walkway to the front of the house. The quiet of the morning broken by the sound of birds chirping, the rustle of leaves on the trees, and the far-off hum of a lawn mower. The grass was higher than normal in her grandfather’s yard. Her mom had mentioned he was thinking of firing his landscaping crew. Looks like he carried through with the threat. She’d try to convince him to rehire them if that was the case.