The Essence of Perfection Page 18

  She tried to keep her voice light. Even though the question was serious. Was this just a one-time thing? Her initial plans had wavered. Maybe it was just the excitement of the day, maybe because she really did want more with Damien.

  “Just invite me over.” He let her go and sat next to her.

  Nicola’s pulse jumped. Had they crossed over into a relationship? “You want to come over again?”

  “Of course, you didn’t think this was a one-time thing.” His eyes widened and he studied her. “Wait, did you want this to be a one-time thing?”

  The way he said it, as if the idea hadn’t occurred to him until just now, made her stomach tighten. Was he serious about making this attraction between them something deeper?

  She focused on drowning her pancakes in syrup. “I don’t know. You were the one who said you didn’t do relationships.”

  “What if I did do relationships?”

  She shrugged, even though her pulse pounded in her ears. She didn’t have time to start a serious relationship. She was meeting with Desiree’s manager next week. If the singer still wanted changes. Nicola had to make them and get things right as soon as possible. That meant long nights at the lab working on various combinations. Not cutting things short to be with a new boyfriend.

  Despite all that her heart answered instead of her brain. “I’d be okay with that.”

  He took the syrup from her and covered his own pancakes. “So would I.”

  She heard the smile in his voice. She glanced over at him with a half grin. “Then we’re a couple, huh?”

  He nodded. “I guess so.”

  That was easy. Too easy. Which meant her brain was ready to overanalyze the conversation. “Why?”

  Damien cut his pancakes with one hand and took a bite of bacon with the other. “Why what?”

  “Why are you suddenly okay with being in a relationship? You seemed adamant when we saw your friend the other week. Are you testing the waters with me? Am I rebound after your divorce? Because then I can prepare myself for . . .”

  Damien dropped his fork and turned to face her. His brows drawn together. “For what?”

  The fall out. The ultimate break up. The inevitable heartbreak. She’d done that before. Dated the guys who said she was too dedicated to her work. That she didn’t spend enough time with them. That she wasn’t fun or spontaneous.

  “For what?” This time his voice was stiffer.

  “I don’t know. I just want to know where to place this relationship we’re in.” She kept her reply calm. She wouldn’t give him the upper hand when they’d just started.

  “Why? If we agreed we’re together what else is there to categorize?”

  She put her fork down and faced him, too. Better to get this laid out now versus later. “Because you seemed to be really hurt by your divorce. I just want to know how that’s going to play with us.”

  “My divorce isn’t about us. My wife decided she wanted something better and didn’t need me anymore, so she split.”

  “What did she want that was better. You seem pretty great?”

  He relaxed a little, but the tension around his eyes and mouth didn’t go away. “She wanted to be independent. She said marriage tied her down. She wanted to live in Spain and the idea of having to consult with me about it irritated her.”

  “Then why did you two get married in the first place?”

  He sighed and rubbed his temple. “We loved each other. Love makes you overlook the faults in someone else sometimes. I knew she was strong and independent. That’s what made me fall in love with her in the first place. She didn’t take shit from anyone. She was the CEO of a Fortune 500 tech company. She ate men more powerful than me for breakfast and let me know right from the start that her life would go on if I didn’t meet her standards.”

  “She sounds rigid.”

  He chuckled and dropped his hand. His fingers brushed hers resting on the counter, and he absently rubbed the back of her hand. “Yeah, she was, but when we were together, she wasn’t like that. She let her guard down for me. So, I let my guard down. We made it two years before things fell apart.”

  The pain in his voice was apparent. The guarded look in his eyes telling the rest of the story. He hadn’t seen her leaving coming. He’d been blindsided and that had hurt. “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugged, swiveled in his chair, and ate some of his food. The awkward silence that followed made her want to rewind ten minutes. Her and her big mouth. Always having to know everything and be in charge. This was why Desiree hated the fragrance. Nicola couldn’t just let go and accept things. She had to set rules and boundaries to everything.

  “What about you?” he asked a few minutes later. When she raised a brow, he raised his. “Your history. You made me spill my deal with my ex. Any ex-husbands, fiancés, or crazy boyfriends I should know about?”

  Nicola shook her head. “Not hardly. I’m not the type of woman to inspire passionate emotions in men.” She closed her eyes. Yeah, that’s how you showed your new boyfriend he’d made a good decision.

  “Shower, bedroom, couch.”

  She opened her eyes and saw he had three fingers raised. He let up a fourth. “I’m going to suggest kitchen counter after we eat. So, I don’t believe you when you say you don’t inspire passion.”

  Her face flamed. The sudden urge to shove the plates off the island and test his theory hit. She tamped it down. For now.

  “Well, you’re the exception not the rule. I’ve had a few relationships. None serious. All ended by the other party.”

  “Why?”

  “Oh, the usual, it’s me not you. Followed by, you work too hard. I’m not good enough for you, which I think was just said to make me feel better. And the one time I was told I act like I didn’t need a man, so why should he stick around.”

  “Do you need a man?”

  “No.” The word was immediate. “Do you think I need one?”

  He held up his hand as if fending off an attack. “I’m not saying that you do. You’re obviously taking good care of yourself. But, if you’d let me, I wouldn’t mind being the man in your life.”

  Warm tingles raced up her spine. She held back a Disney Princess-worthy sigh, but was pretty sure her eyes were doing that swoony thing she’d seen in movies. Slow and steady. That’s how she’d move forward with this thing with Damien. She’d hold him close, figure out what they were doing before she opened herself completely, because right now, as he looked at her like she was beautiful and precious, she liked the idea of him being the man in her life.

  “I think I’d like that.”

  The heat that flared in his eyes made her mouth go dry. Damien pushed their plates aside and stood. “Good. Now, if you’re done.” He lifted her and sat her on the counter. “Let’s get to number four.”

  Chapter 23

  Damien left the next morning, and Nicola decided she couldn’t put off what she needed to do much longer. She skipped going to the lab and drove to Aiken to see her grandfather. He’d skipped their magic show call during the week. She wanted to apologize for upsetting him at the speed dating event and let him know she was still all in on helping him with the show.

  If she didn’t go see him, he would continue to push aside their weekly calls, assume she didn’t want to be in the show and wouldn’t bring it up when she eventually saw him at the next obligatory holiday dinner. They’d go on as if her attempt to help had never happened and he wouldn’t be any ornerier towards her than he’d been before.

  Nicola didn’t want that to happen. He was her last living grandparent. Her grandmother had always been there for Nicola and she’d never gotten the chance to show her grandmother appreciation in kind. She wouldn’t let her grandfather down. She wanted to continue to build their connection.

  Which is why she spent the drive brainstorming ideas for their debut show. She was thinking matching outfits, of course, but also, she wanted something classic. Black capes and top hats weren’t enough. Maybe she’d agree t
o the purple sequin he’d mentioned before. They also needed great stage names. Like “The Magnificent Jeremiah” or “The Fantastic Jeremiah and his Granddaughter.” Emphasis on grand to add a little umph to the name.

  She was well aware both titles were terrible. Being creative and naming things wasn’t listed on her resume. She just hoped her grandad would be happy she was trying. That he’d forgive her for being a know-it-all the last time she’d come up.

  Not assuming she could just pop up on him, she’d called when she’d gotten in the car and told him she was coming. Jeremiah hadn’t sounded excited or annoyed by her plans, which she took as a good sign. When she pulled up to his house early Sunday afternoon, she was surprised there was a green Prius parked in his driveway. He hadn’t mentioned anything about company.

  She rang the bell and was even more surprised when a black woman who looked to be in her late twenties opened the door. “Hey, you must be Nicola. Come on in.”

  The woman’s dark eyes were warm and welcoming. She was dressed casually in jeans and a teal-colored t-shirt with Partners for Healthy Waters written on the front. Her hair was cut into a sleek pixie cut and earrings made out of soda pop tabs dangled in her ears.

  “I am, and you are?” Nicola walked through the door.

  “I’m Valeria.” Valeria’s brows rose and she said her name as if Nicola should have immediately known who she was. “I’m helping your grandad with his show at the senior center.”

  “You are?” When had that happened? They’d only missed two weekly calls. That shouldn’t have been long enough to get replaced.

  “Yeah! I volunteer down there and when he told me you couldn’t help anymore, I just couldn’t let him drop out. Jeremiah is a sweetheart you know?”

  You couldn’t help him anymore?

  They were going down the hall and entered the living space. Nicola stopped and took in the sights with her mouth wide open. So much for coming with ideas. Valeria, the super assistant, had her grandad’s living room looking like the backstage of a theater. Jeremiah stood in the middle of the room. He wore a purple sequin suit that looked too big but had pins in it around the arms and legs. Other purple sequin material was scattered around the room. A video that explained magic tricks played on the television and a box of what looked like props sat in one of the chairs.

  “Nicola,” her grandfather said and grinned bigger than she’d ever seen him. “Sorry for the mess. Just move stuff around and find a seat.”

  Valeria hurried over to Jeremiah and tugged at the front of the suit. “Don’t move too much. You’ll poke yourself.”

  He scoffed. “A little pin prick won’t hurt me.”

  “Maybe not, but there are a lot of pins in this suit. So, be careful.” Valeria kneeled and worked on the hem of the pants.

  Nicola eased farther in the room. A sinking feeling deep in her gut. “What’s going on here?”

  Jeremiah’s grin didn’t waver as he spoke. “Valeria works in the drama department at the high school and volunteers on weekends at the senior center. She said we could use these old suits for the magic show. How about that?”

  That was the absolute last thing she’d expected. His apparent joy at having a new assistant made her heart twist painfully in her chest. One fight and he’d replaced her?

  She wanted to snatch the sequined material out of Valeria’s hands, yell at her grandfather, and demand that he give her an explanation. But the way he beamed down at Valeria killed any arguments Nicola had. He’d never beamed at her like that.

  “That’s great. I didn’t know you needed a new partner?” Years of practice kept the hurt of rejection out of her voice.

  “Well, I knew you were busy with that new perfume you’re making. After the last time you were here, I realized you were right. I was wasting your time.”

  “I didn’t say that?” Nicola shot a look to Valeria. Her replacement didn’t look up.

  “You didn’t have to. I knew you had more important things to do than come up here and keep me company. I shouldn’t have dragged you to that speed dating thing. So, I figured I’d find a new partner and you wouldn’t be distracted.”

  Basically, I don’t want to put up with you and your know-it-all ways, so I found someone more suitable.

  “But I don’t mind helping. I even thought up names for our act.” Thankfully her voice didn’t waver. Inside she felt lost. Like a kid forgotten at the store watching their parents drive off. Except, she knew Jeremiah wouldn’t realize he’d left Nicola behind. He thought he was doing her a favor. She’d hurt his feelings, so he’d assumed she didn’t want to spend more time with him.

  “Oh, we have a name,” Valeria said grinning. “Acts of Wonder by Jeremiah the Wonderful.”

  “That’s a mouthful.” And better than what she’d come up with.

  “It sets the stage,” her grandfather said defensively. “Valeria can get posters printed using her teacher discount. We’re going to put them up around the center before the show. It’ll build buzz.”

  Nicola bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to sound judgmental, but it was hard to not be petty when she’d been tossed aside. She ran her fingers over the material of one of the outfits and tried to pretend as if she were okay with the change. She’d say something to Jeremiah later. She wasn’t about to argue in front of Valeria. The woman seemed happy to help Jeremiah. If Nicola started an argument, then it would be another example of Nicola being judgmental about her grandfather’s decisions.

  “Sounds like you’re good. But, you know I was still happy to help.” There it was. The smallest of pleas in her voice. Damn, she hadn’t wanted to give proof to how much being ditched by him was like a kick in the shins.

  Her grandfather’s brows drew together. “You aren’t upset about me working with Valeria, are you? I mean, you always seemed to be more of a loner. Independent and everything. I didn’t think you’d mind with all the other stuff you have going on?”

  Except she had cared, and wanted to do this thing with her grandfather. Wanted someone in the family to be excited about needing her for something fun. Wanted to prove she could be there for someone in her family. That she wasn’t completely selfish.

  She shouldn’t be disappointed. After thirty some odd years of being the one who was okay being left out, of course her grandfather wouldn’t think she’d be upset. After all, she was the one who’d been okay when her family didn’t show up for honor roll recognitions because she always made honor roll. She hadn’t cared when they’d never gotten excited if she was elected into an academic honors society, because making good grades and getting in was a given. She’d gracefully said she didn’t mind when she wasn’t included in planning Quinn’s wedding because she wasn’t into that type of stuff. Why should she care now if her grandfather booted her out of his magic show for someone who had easy access to purple sequin suits and could print posters with Jeremiah the Wonderful at a discount.

  Nicola did what she always did, smiled and acted like there weren’t razor blades slicing across her heart. “You’re right. It makes much more sense for you to work with Valeria.”

  He relaxed then pointed at the television. “Watch this. It’s the big finale for our show. I found this video breaking down magic tricks on the internet.”

  Nicola sat in the middle of the sequins and pretended to be happy. “Sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.”

  “We do. You are still coming to the show, right?” he asked. “If you’re too busy I understand.”

  “No, I’ll be there. Remember I got all of the family coming.”

  “You sure?” he asked.

  “Positively sure. Things will be said and done with Desiree’s perfume by then.” That was the one good thing out of this. The silver lining. She could devote more time to that. Time she could have spent today if she’d known she’d been fired.

  “How is that going? Your mom said she didn’t like the last sample you gave her?”

  “Minor setback. You know me. I’ll get i
t figured out.” Earlier that week she’d made tweaks to the samples she’d sent Desiree in preparation for her meeting with her manager. She wasn’t sure what feedback Desiree had, but she couldn’t sit still and not try something.

  “You always do.” Her grandfather waved excitedly toward the screen. “Valeria, write this down. We can’t forget this part.”

  Valeria laughed. “It’s a video, Mr. Jeremiah, I can re-watch it. Now hold still while I get these pins in the pants.”

  Her grandfather settled but continued to beam at Valeria. Nicola’s chest burned. She’d be okay. She always was. So she smiled, listened to her replacement’s grand plans, and went over all the reasons why not being in a senior center talent show was actually great news.

  * * *

  She left her grandfather radiantly happy with Valeria and drove back to Atlanta an hour after arriving. He didn’t seem to notice her visit was short or ask her to stay longer. Not that he needed her anyway. Not wanting to go home to be alone, or to call Damien and possibly appear needy after spending the previous day with him, she went to her parents’.

  “Nicola, what are you doing here?” Adele asked after Nicola followed her into her bedroom. “I’m getting ready for a dinner party, so you can’t stay long.”

  “Do I need a reason to visit my mom?” Nicola asked. She plopped down onto her mom’s king-sized bed. Various discarded items of clothing littered the bed. Her mom was never neat when she searched for the perfect outfit.

  Adele settled in front of the vanity in the corner. “You don’t need a reason, but you also don’t typically come over unannounced.”

  She glanced around the room. “Where’s Dad? Isn’t he going?”

  “He’s in the shower down the hall.”

  Nicola nodded and settled onto her side on the bed. Her dad used the guest bedroom closet and the guest bath for his stuff since Adele’s stuff took over everything else. Sometimes Nicola wondered if he also slept in the guest bedroom, but decided never to ask. She didn’t want to know that much or think about what it meant if he did.