The Essence of Perfection Read online

  Nicola nodded stiffly and listened to the rest of the incase-you’re-about-to-drown instructions. Damien hadn’t taken his hand off her shoulder. She liked the feel of him holding her. His body firm and warm against her. His hand a reassuring pressure with the occasional squeeze whenever their guide talked about what to do if something went horribly wrong on the tour.

  A few minutes later they were all in the canoes heading down the river. Nicola turned on the camera when they started. The group didn’t talk much as they paddled. Their guide pointed out interesting birds and plants along the way. Occasionally, Damien would chime in and point something out to her like the family of turtles on a log or the fish swimming next to their canoe. He’d been right. It was kind of peaceful and fun.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  The water was calm but steady. The current strong as it guided them and the rest of the tour. After fifteen minutes of no disaster in sight, Nicola’s shoulders relaxed. “This is nice. Thank you for bringing me out here.”

  “Would you want to come back?”

  “I think I might.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at him in the back of the canoe and caught his smile. He looked as if she’d just made his day. If coming out here with him resulted in that kind of reaction maybe she’d buy a canoe and they could come out every weekend.

  “That’s cool,” he said. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be into this or not.”

  “I’m trying new things.”

  “I did that,” he said. “After my divorce. Went out and tried new things. It’s how I ended up on the river in the first place. My ex said I was stuck and comfortable with the way things were and that she didn’t want to be comfortable. She wanted the discomfort of being in an unfamiliar environment.”

  “That sounds . . . interesting.” She slowed her rowing and turned off the camera as she listened. The producers didn’t need to hear the details of his personal life.

  “Yeah. She wanted to move to Barcelona. Read an article about how you can live there on two thousand a month or something. My studio was just starting to take off, and I didn’t want to go. I thought Barcelona was just a whim of hers. Then one day she was on a plane and I had an It’s-me-not-you letter left on the bed. Divorce papers came six months after she left.”

  Nicola sucked in a breath. Her chest tightened at the pain that must have caused. “Damien, that’s terrible. I’m sorry.”

  “I was too. Then I realized maybe it was for the best.”

  “That’s really mature of you.” She wasn’t sure if she would have handled a breakup like that so easily. Marriage was supposed to be a partnership. A lifetime of we’re in this together.

  “Yeah, well, I wasn’t grown up about it at first. I was hurt. Angry. Really angry. My friends all told me afterwards that they knew she was selfish. That she wasn’t the right person for me.”

  Her hands tightened on the oars. “Don’t you hate that? How friends tell you how horrible the person was after you break up?” The way Quinn said she’d always known Bobby was shady after he’d embarrassed Nicola on their date.

  “I do hate that, but I get it. You don’t want to ruin your friend’s happiness.” He sounded as if he didn’t quite believe his own argument.

  “You know what, ruin mine.” She started rowing again. They were lagging behind the rest of the group, but she didn’t mind. She liked being able to talk to Damien without everyone else around. “I’d rather know how my friends really feel than hear their I told you so later.”

  “And what if your friends say you shouldn’t date me?”

  It wasn’t her friends who’d say that. What would he say if he realized she was telling herself not to date him? Not to get too attached or distracted with him. “Are we dating? I thought we were just making out in corners.”

  His laughter was like a warm breeze across her skin. “Oh, you got jokes I see.”

  She was a master of avoid and deflect.

  “Hey guys,” their guide called. “Up ahead are some class one rapids. Not very dangerous, but still a challenge for new paddlers. We can go up on the banks and walk down to where they are so you can see before we go. That way, if anyone doesn’t feel comfortable tackling the rapids, they can meet us on the other end.”

  The group maneuvered to the banks and secured the canoes. Nicola turned the camera back on as they walked a few feet downstream to where the water was choppy with a few white peaks as the river rushed through the rocks. Nicola’s eyes got wide. Okay, it wasn’t exactly white-water rafting, but she also wasn’t sure if she could maneuver them through that. She looked at the other newbies in the group and all of them were excited.

  “Anyone want to walk past?” their guide asked.

  A bunch of negative head shakes. These people had to have lost their minds. Not one other person in the group seemed afraid to tackle the rapids. Which meant she couldn’t be the only person scared. No way was she going to be that girl.

  “Are you sure?” Damien asked once again with a reassuring shoulder squeeze. “We don’t have to do it.”

  His mouth said that, but she saw the anticipation in his eyes. The rising joy of tackling nature. If she said no, he’d be okay, but then he’d judge her. She’d be boring Nicola afraid to try anything new. She’d gotten this far, the guide said they were class one, which had to mean not dangerous. Please, God, let that mean not dangerous.

  She balled her hands into fists that she tried to pump with excitement. “Yeah, let’s do this.”

  Her show obviously worked, because Damien grinned and squeezed her shoulder again before they all trudged back to the boats. Everyone chatted excitedly as they climbed in and got back on the water. The calm sound of the river gave way to the louder sound of faster moving water. Each dip of her paddle into the water revved up her heart another beat.

  Yes. I can do this. Just follow the people in front of us. Damien will do most of the work in the back. Okay. Almost there. Man, that water sounds loud.

  The current picked up and they were there. The front of the canoe dipped down and then back up. She gripped the paddle. Fear and exhilaration sent adrenaline surging through her system. She could do this. She would make it. Nicola versus river, and she was going to win!

  The paddle slipped in her hands. The canoe rocked harder, dipped then popped up. She wasn’t sitting anymore. A brief sense of weightlessness overtook her as she flew out of the canoe before cold water engulfed her.

  Oh God. I’m going to die!

  She panicked. Her heart hammered. Her eyes were wide open and burned. The light from the surface blending into the darkness of the water. She flailed her arms and legs. Searching for something solid to save her.

  Hold your arms and legs up. Someone will get you.

  The instructions came back to her. She forced herself to relax and held up her arms and legs. Sure enough, she floated. Strong hands gripped the front of her life jacket and hauled her up. Damien wrapped her in his arms. She gripped him for dear life.

  “I’ve got you,” he whispered in a shaky voice. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”

  Everything after was a blur. She was deposited back into the canoe. Everyone made sure she was okay, but after the excitement died down, the tour continued as if she hadn’t nearly drowned. The fear she’d felt was replaced with embarrassment. Her wet clothes, workout clothes and not the wet suits the experienced paddlers wore, were heavy and cold. When the guide stopped to point out a bald eagle, she wanted to throw a brick at his head. She wanted out of the boat, not to do more sightseeing.

  Damien patted her back. “We’re almost done.”

  He sounded guilty. It wasn’t his fault she’d fallen in. She should have agreed to walk the bank instead of tackling rapids. Even baby rapids, when she’d never canoed before.

  “It’s cool. I’ve never seen an eagle.” She said between chattering teeth. She tried to look at the eagle with an expression of wonder and appreciation.

  Damien chuckled. “
Okay, I know where the tour ends. Let’s go ahead and get you out of here.”

  She couldn’t hide her gratitude, so she didn’t even try. “Bless you.”

  Chapter 22

  The ride back to her place was miserable. Despite Damien turning on the heat, the cold dampness of Nicola’s wet clothes seeped all the way into her bones. That and the smell of the river: mildew, fish, and sulfur had her dreaming of an hour-long hot shower.

  “Are you okay?” Damien asked again as they pulled into her neighborhood.

  He’d asked the question a dozen times since getting in the truck. She should be happy he even cared enough to ask, but she knew the real reason. Just to make sure she wasn’t about to freak out the way she wanted to. He probably couldn’t wait to get her out of his truck. She couldn’t do something as simple as canoe down a river. Everything she’d tried to do on that damn list resulted in some type of disaster.

  Maybe she just had to face it. She wasn’t cut out for an adventurous life. She was the uninteresting, sensible one. She pulled at her damp t-shirt. The uncoordinated one. Pretty soon everyone, including Damien, would realize the image of levelheaded sophistication she’d tried to portray was just that. An image.

  “Nicola?” Damien asked.

  She gave him a tight smile and nodded. “I’m good.”

  His hand tightened on the wheel. His shoulders rose and fell with a silent sigh. She could practically hear the disappointment in his brain.

  He pulled in her driveway a few seconds later. Nicola unhooked her seat belt and opened the door before he’d gotten the vehicle in park. “Thanks for the ride. You don’t have to come in.”

  Damien switched the gear to park and turned off the truck. “I’m not going to just drop you off and go away.”

  “It’s no big deal really. I’m good.”

  “I’d like to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I am okay. Just wet and ready for a shower. Besides, I know you probably have other things you’d like to do.”

  “I’d like to take care of you,” he said. He got out of the car while she sat there stunned. Take care of her?

  A few long strides brought him around to the passenger side. He opened her door but didn’t let her out. One long arm rested on the door the other hand pressed against the side of his truck. Concern filled Damien’s chocolate brown eyes.

  “Look, I know you probably can’t wait to get away from me, but I feel terrible about what happened. It was stupid of me to take you out on the river when it was obvious you don’t like doing stuff like that. I thought you’d like trying something new since you were doing that list thing, but I should have known you wouldn’t have been into that.”

  “You feel terrible?”

  That was not the reaction she’d expected. She’d expected him to be embarrassed by her falling in. Annoyed with her inability to first admit she’d been afraid to do the rapids, and second that she’d risked both of their lives by not speaking up. But that’s what she did. Kept things to herself. Tried to pretend things were okay, and plunge ahead.

  “I won’t take you out there again.” His voice was strong and determined.

  “You’re not mad at me for falling in?”

  His head drew back. Confusion flashed across his features. “Why would I be mad at you? I thought you’d be mad at me?”

  She placed a hand on her chest. “I’m the idiot of fell in trying to impress you instead of walking along the bank like the guide offered.”

  His lips drew up in that smile that almost made steam rise from her wet clothes. “You were trying to impress me?”

  “I thought you’d think I couldn’t hang or that I was afraid.” She hadn’t wanted him to see her fear.

  He reached forward and took a wavy strand of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. The two cornrows she’d put her hair in for the trip had unraveled after her impromptu diving lesson. Now her hair was a crinkly, damp, hot mess of curls around her head.

  “I was worried you’d be more upset about your hair.”

  Nicola rolled her eyes. She slapped his hand away. “I can wash my hair. I’m just glad you fished me out of the water. I could only imagine my family’s reaction if I would have drowned. They’d probably say it served me right for trying to prove I can be interesting.”

  The smile on his face fell away. His eyes hardened. Long fingers closed around the hand resting in her lap. “Don’t joke about that. When you went under... that was the scariest moment in my life. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

  Emotion vibrated in his voice. Her stomach quivered. Heat flooded her chest and neck. If she were a romantic person, she’d think he felt something for her. Something bigger than the sizzling kisses and casual dating scenario she’d envisioned. Something that should have sent off warning bells of upcoming distractions but didn’t.

  “Is that why you were so heroic and quickly saved me. To avoid a lifetime of guilt.”

  “That was part of the reason.” Some of the humor returned in his eyes, but a glint of something else was there too. Something hotter.

  Nicola eased a little closer to him. “What’s the other part?”

  Damien nudged her knees apart until his hips settled between her thighs. He gently cupped the back of her neck. “I’d miss you too much. That happens when you start to care about a woman.”

  Her eyes widened, and her heart became a pounding hammer in her chest. “Starting to care?” Caring wasn’t supposed to come into this. They’d kissed twice. Only had one date. He’d pulled her from the river.

  He lowered his head closer, paused. “Nicola.”

  “Yes,” she whispered. His lips were so close to hers. His scent, clay and fresh air, and temptation, overpowered any remnants of the river.

  “Stop overthinking.”

  His lips covered hers. Damien’s lips heated her as he placed soft intoxicating kisses on her lips, her cheeks, down her jaw to her neck. The chill to her bones vanished. She didn’t want slow and easy. Her body itched to get closer, or maybe that was the wet clothes. His teeth nipped her lower lip. Fire flared in her midsection. No, that itch was not wet clothes.

  Nicola’s fingers found their way beneath his shirt. Damien sucked in a breath. The hard muscles of his stomach clenched. The hand gripping her hip pulled her closer to him.

  A horn honked. Nicola and Damien jumped. They stared into each other’s eyes. Their breathing ragged and heavy. She’d forgotten they were outside. Sitting in his truck for everyone in her neighborhood to see.

  A breeze swept over them. Damien shivered. He wasn’t as wet as she was. He’d worn the right clothing for a river trip, but he must be just as anxious to shower and change as she was.

  “I should take a shower,” she said.

  Damien nodded. The ponytail he’d pulled his long dreads into was loose. Partly from pulling her from the river. Partly from her fingers gripping his head and pulling him into her.

  “I bet you are ready to go inside and rest.” The low rumble of his voice vibrated through her.

  Resting wasn’t the only thing she wanted to go inside and do. She took a deep breath. Called on the courage and confidence she’d seen in Quinn and Shonda over the years.

  “You can join me.” Her voice didn’t shake. She sounded like a bad femme fatale movie cliché with her throaty proposition. If he laughed, she wouldn’t blame him. Okay, maybe she would, but she’d at least understand.

  Damien swallowed hard. “You have no idea how much I’d love that.”

  * * *

  Later that afternoon Nicola sat at her kitchen island sipping hot chocolate out of a mug and watched Damien make pancakes at her stove. His clothes were in her dryer. The dryer cycle ended at least an hour ago, but he still wore her fuzzy bathrobe and nothing else. Not that she complained. The belt barely kept the pink and purple polka dot robe closed over the long lean muscles of his body. Which meant she got enticing glimpses of Damien’s thighs, abs, and other attributes.
r />   Those glimpses combined with a newfound sense of going for what she wanted—maybe because she hadn’t drowned in the river—resulted in her not only making love with Damien in her shower, but also in her bed and again on her sofa. Her hair was still a frizzy mess, but she didn’t care. She doubted she’d ever be able to come into her house and not think about all of the ways Damien had made her tremble.

  She wore a light grey tank trimmed in lace with a pair of matching shorts. A gift from one of her lingerie clients. She didn’t typically buy cute pajamas, but the way Damien had licked his lips when she’d come into the kitchen in them earlier made her consider filling her drawers with nothing but cute, lace trimmed pajamas.

  He’d surprised her by cooking. She’d offered to order something, admittedly too tired after the day to even consider touching her stove, but he’d said he wanted to do something nice. The warmth of the cocoa filled her and contentedness seeped into her every pore. A sexy man making food, preparing hot chocolate and walking around her kitchen barely covered in a fuzzy bathrobe was definitely something worth being content with.

  “What are you smiling at?” Damien asked. He hadn’t looked over his shoulder and continued making their food.

  “How do you know I’m smiling?”

  “I can feel it.” He winked at her over his shoulder.

  Her stomach flipped and she almost giggled. Almost. “You’re feeling really cocky right about now.”

  “Why shouldn’t I be? I saved a beautiful woman and then made love to her several times. I think I have a right to be cocky.”

  Nicola laughed. “Maybe I’ll fall in a river more often if this is the treatment I get.”

  He plated their pancakes and brought them over. He’d also found the pack of bacon in her fridge and cooked it. He brought that over to the island, too.

  Damien cupped her neck and pulled her closer to him. He buried his nose in her hair. Which he’d washed for her. Swoon! Then kissed her. “Please don’t ever fall into the river again.”

  “I won’t,” she said hearing the trace of fear in his voice. “Though, I’m not used to being spoiled like this. What’s a woman got to do to get this type of treatment again?”